They’re too cute!

9 years ago

Brought to you by Calpol.  Elbow in my ribs. I wake up. “Huh?” “Anna’s crying.” Check the clock. 04:05. Another elbow in my ribs. “Ok, ok. I’m going.” Go into the twins’ room. Anna IS crying. Absentmindedly crying. She’s actually still asleep. What’s going on? Wait. I know what’s up. Five letters that spell disaster. […]

9 years ago

Reflecting on memories I have with my children makes me realise how lucky I am; special, gorgeous times that create subtle life milestones that I know in years to come I’ll still celebrate. The first one that springs to mind is from back in those days when we had just the one kid, Andrew. At […]

9 years ago

I’m breaking up with you. We’re done. We can’t go on together. I’m sorry. It’s not you. It’s me. No, it actually is. You see, if we keep hanging out together, you’re going to… well… I don’t know how to put this so I’ll just come out and say it: If we remain friends, you’re going […]

9 years ago

I’m glad I’m a parent in 2017! Things can be mad in a house with two adults, four kids and an escape artist dog. It makes you wonder, sometimes, about how life was before the kids arrived. But what if you cast your mind back a bit further? What about when we were kids? Were […]

9 years ago

The day we brought Andrew, our first-born, home from the Rotunda was a Wednesday in early November, 2009. We were busy. We lit a fire. Kept the room at the right temperature for the little guy. The two sets of Grandparents came over to visit. Family and friends called around. Neighbours dropped in. All to […]

9 years ago

I am David Zachary John Moore. I am married to Tracy. We have four kids: Andrew, Samuel, and twins Nina and Anna. We have a dog called Lorna, a lurcher we rescued in 2005. She can leap a 9-foot wall in one go. I am tired. Here are 10 things you might not know about raising twins. 1. Twins […]

9 years ago

Kids have many reasons to cry. Some are even justifiable. Teething. Like what the hell?! Animals in the wild are ready to flee from predators within minutes of being born. We can’t see for days, clearly for months. We can’t walk for over a year, usually. But, surely, the pain of shoving rock hard chinks […]

9 years ago

Andrew was born in November 2009. I’ve been a Dad since then. In 2012, we welcomed Samuel along. Then, just before Christmas in 2014, double trouble arrived in the shape of Nina and Anna. We are blessed to have four kids but, even after all the years and all the experience, here are some things I […]

9 years ago

We’re all dirty liars! I was thinking about this on Sunday after I had finished telling my 127th lie of the day. I’m not a parent. I’m not a Dad. I’m a liar. That’s all I do. I lie to my kids. Like ALL the time. Here are some of the lies I tell on a […]

10 years ago

1. I call everybody by four names (at least).  Nina. Andrew. Lorna. Sam. This is how I now address my children (and our dog). I run through a rake of names before I fall onto the correct one. If you have one child, you may think it impossible that you will ever forget your darling […]

10 years ago

Being in the delivery room for the birth of each of my children was massively important to me. I’m not really sure how much it meant to my wife, the stunning, amazing, beautiful mother of my fabulous children. She had other things on her mind; you know, like getting children to pass through hips that […]

10 years ago

Dear children, I, the undersigned parent, being of absolutely unsound and exhausted mind and body, do solemnly promise that: 1. I will wee at night and not flush the toilet or wash my hands for fear of stirring one of you inhuman awake machines. 2. I will sleep in the spare room on a bed […]

10 years ago

How does she cope with four kids? The answer: brilliantly. Tracy is amazing. Day in and day out, I go to work. I have meetings after work. I go to gigs. Football games. The cinema. Dinner. Drinks. I’m a busy guy. Meanwhile, Tracy is at home with four kids. Sure, for a few hours a day, they […]

10 years ago

I’m giving Tracy the day off. I’m taking the kids over to a friend’s house. He’s doing something similar with his good lady. To kill some time, we thought it would be a good idea to go to a shopping centre first. Excuse me, a retail park. No, a lifestyle plaza. Whatever it’s called, it’s […]

10 years ago

A few weeks back, I sent an email to a bunch of my friends who are parents and asked them to email me their confessions about stuff they’ve done. I promised anonymity. I will deliver anonymity to everyone involved; everyone involved, that is, except me. So, here goes: When Andrew, now five, was really small, […]

10 years ago

There are some things I’ve genuinely found useful since becoming a Dad. I would like to point out that I’m not sponsored by any of the people who manufacture these products. I am, however, open to the idea so if, I dunno, Marshall Amps or Lamborghini want a piece of this hot HerFamily.ie action, let […]

10 years ago

Andrew just turned seven. We have a seven-year-old. Wow. He’s a great big brother, sensitive, oh, and a quality number NINE, a ruthless finisher one-on-one. He’s also reading at a very advanced level for his age. Now, don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a “my son, the over-achiever” job. This is more of a […]

10 years ago

I used to be so cocky. Sleep? Yeah, I get sleep. Loads. Too much, in fact. This was when I worked for myself. I could roll out of bed at noon, do a few hours work, have a nap, stay up working till 2am, fall into bed and start again. via GIPHY Then, I got […]

10 years ago

If you are currently childless, these symptoms will not apply to you. But have a read anyway in order to familiarise yourself with what you may face in the future. If you have children, I am giving you a knowing stare. You know. I know. We understand.  You’re always tired You’re so tired. Not “out […]

10 years ago

I adore my kids. Like any parent believes of their progeny, I’m convinced my four are the best-behaved, most advanced, prettiest kids around and they smell like angel’s breath all the time. They aren’t, by the way, and they don’t. They are capable of immensely poor decision making, hilarious stupidity and, mostly, they smell of […]

10 years ago

A busy weekend Saturday Morning: Had friends over. 10 kids, 5 adults, 3, count ’em, 3 sets of twins. Walk on the beach, everyone swam, everyone wet and covered in sand. Home. Change. Lunch. Afternoon: Pack for holidays tomorrow. Surprise the lads with tickets for Barcelona v Celtic at the Aviva. Samuel’s first game. Park […]

10 years ago

Who do teachers think they are?!? They just up and leave our kids for 2-3 months a year! They head off to a Thai beach resort or a deserted Caribbean island or Shanghai’s hottest hot spots or wherever it is teachers go for a holiday after the “holiday” of teaching a class of 30 kids […]

10 years ago

Dear Parents of Ireland, You should be proud. Very proud. Proud of your sons and daughters. I am a son of Ireland and I have just spent two weeks in the company of a traveling band of my brothers and sisters, called “The Green Army”. We came in battalions, by land, air and sea, and […]

10 years ago

I’m in France at the Euros. I’m having an amazing time. I’m so lucky. I’m being paid to be at the biggest football tournament of the year but, right now, at 2:40am, I can’t sleep because of how much I miss my kids.  There’s no amount of logic that can help me to sleep. I’ll […]

10 years ago

So, thanks to the utterly enormous span of St. Patrick’s Day and Easter holidays, our two bigger ones had nigh on three weeks off. There’s only so much “maybe you could have an, umm, adventure, er, upstairs, with your brother, like pretending you’re both, ehhh, astronaut footballers from the planet Manchester United!” you can throw […]

11 years ago

Children at night time and the S word… It’s 3:28am. I’m typing this in the Notes application on my iPhone. I’m in bed in the spare room. The dog is in here with me. She’s kind of annoyed that a large human is taking up so much of her usually empty double bed. Why am […]

11 years ago

We’ve had our dog, Lorna, for ten years now. We rescued her from Ash Animal Rescue in Wicklow, as a 13-week old pup. She looked a little like a chocolate lab but skinnier. We didn’t realise she would turn into a lurcher, effectively the cats of the dog world. A sprint in the morning. A […]

11 years ago

Ever since I’ve had kids I’m almost perpetually scarlet. I have plenty of embarrassing stories, where my children managed to make me squirm so much I thought I might grow tentacles and become an octopus. If you’ve ever listened to my radio show (Dermot & Dave, 12pm-2:30pm, Monday to Friday on Today FM, ahem), you may have […]

11 years ago

We open on an airport. Modern. Clean. Busy. Families, couples, tour groups all mill around ground staff, check-in desks and those elasticated, rope queuing things. Ethan (Tom Cruise) has adopted an unassuming identity for this most impossible of missions. He is passing himself off as a lunchtime DJ from national radio station, Today FM, Dave […]

11 years ago

So, Father’s Day happened. There. A few weeks back. Remember? The socks? Yeah, yeah. That was Father’s Day. Did you get socks? Most of us did. It’s the ritual. The “Dad’s annual sock stock clearance”. As the new, shiny, Homer Simpson/Football Team/World’s Best Golfer (delete as appropriate) pairs take pride of place in the front […]

11 years ago

Samuel is cheeky. Take the best parts of my wife’s personality and the best parts of mine, discard the rest and you get Sam. He’s the funniest person I’ve ever spoken to. Don’t believe me? Well, he once sent a Snapchat of his face with the word SAP written across it to his Montessori teacher’s ex. […]

11 years ago